Must-Flee-TV: Feature Story Features Viewer’s Neighborhood

by --- January 26, 2021

cuomo news briefing

HOBARKEN (Corgi Press) — I won’t say that this strip makes me nostalgic because my Google dictionary tells me that word means a sentimental longing for the past. Unfortunately, there’s not much longing going on here for the period in which the quarantine began. For me, that quarantine never ended. Yes, it is as you’ve imagined: I’ve been hunched over my drawing table, growing out a beard and collecting pee in bottles, since March of 2020. Well, when I’m not doing my day job remotely. For me, a scraggly hobo beard would be unprofessional, but no one can see me pee in bottles as long as it’s off-camera!

I have a distinct memory of when everything shut down in my area. I was at the gym, on an upright bike (you know, getting swole), when the Governor of New York broke into one of those blonde-woman-drinking-wine morning shows. I’m sure they had just started on their second bottle. Against the symphony of an elderly man grunting loudly at a cable-rowing machine, Cuomo revealed he was shutting everything down. Since NY, NJ, and CT had decided to link their pandemic responses, this meant something that I didn’t realize then: the end of that gym membership!

I wiped off the bike I was on, changed, and then headed out the exit. As I left, the front desk attendant and I awkwardly said goodbye to each other. “I guess I’ll see you when I see you,” I said, and I haven’t since.