Updates Tuesdays

Corgi Boss

April 20, 2018

Fantasy: Man Delighted By Mandatory, Informative, Yet Entertaining Staff Meeting

by -- April 17, 2018

The board of directors has gotta be a bunch of corgis, right? I’m not exactly sure why Mary seems so surprised. Will these new corgis be able to save the paper from destroying itself under Kimber’s leadership? Who knows! Korgi (spellcheck please) Just this past week, I consumed a volume of Christian Slade’s all-ages comic […]

Job Applicant Anxiously Rehearses Every Possible Question Only to Forget Her Name at Interview

by -- April 10, 2018

This past weekend, I had the good fortune of traveling into New York City for the MoCCA Arts Festival, a bustling indy comics festival that took place in Hell’s Kitchen. Since I had to work at my job on Saturday, I was only able to go for the second day of the fest, but, let […]

Man Looking Forward to Explaining All the Progress Made in the Women’s Movement

by -- March 29, 2018

When Mary called for a meeting of the women that work at the paper, AKA The Hobarken Queens, no one thought she take the nickname so literally. However, Mary is the type of person that is filled with, perhaps, a little too much passion. Oh Mary. I also wanted to mention that this my first […]

Press Speculates Who They Will Turn on Next

by -- March 22, 2018

Blog Post Coming Soon

Breaking: Woman in Bar Told by Obnoxious Drunk Guy to “Check This Out”

by -- February 27, 2018

I guess Mary is taking a bit of a walk on the dark side with Trey Taurus. As shirtless Kylo Ren in Star Wars taught everyone, there is a certain appeal to the evil guy. The real question is if this is a passing fad with Mary or something that could become long-term. Given her […]

Man Representing Himself in Court Convinced Habeas Corpus, In Flagrante Delicto, and Expecto Patronum Are All Legal Terms He Will Be Using

by -- January 23, 2018

Well, surprisingly enough Trey Taurus came through for most of the staff at the Hobarken Herald! Maybe Mary’s alliance with evil is paying off? They’re like Stalin and Churchill or Stalin and… Well, any alliance with Stalin is an alliance with evil since he was pretty evil. I should also mention that out of all […]

Inevitable: Family Business Passes to Fredo of the Family.

by -- January 9, 2018

Family Business Although the boss asked Kimber to take over, I doubt he would have wanted her to don her “power suit” and bring her father in to run the business! Instead, he probably hoped that she could maintain things in the manner he had been doing it. Adding her dad into the mix complicates […]

Persona Non Grata: We Have No Idea What That Means

by -- January 4, 2018

Blog Post Coming Soon

Prison Chic: Pandora Jewelers to Release Handcuff and Leg Iron-Line with Charms for Each Felony

by -- December 28, 2017

Schedule Info Reminder: The holiday craziness—everyone’s mélange of joy, depression, regret, and self-affirmation—continues! So, please remember that next week there will be no update on Tuesday. I’m going to be away for the weekend for the New Year. I hope that you all will be having lots of fun this coming weekend as well. Normal […]

After War on Christmas, White House Puts “Mission Accomplished” Banner on Aircraft Carrier

by -- December 19, 2017

The Holidays! So, next Monday is Christmas. Although my usual update day of Tuesday the 26th is not the day of the holiday, I’ll be taking it off to enjoy. The same thing goes for the update day of January 2nd. There will be a normal update on Thursday the 28th and normal updates will […]

Activists Unfairly Critical of “Use of Force” Policy Claims Jedi Council

by -- December 12, 2017

I’ll have to admit that this was a very controversial strip in my household. Ultimately, my girlfriend—who  I’ve mentioned acts as an unpaid, uncredited, and unimpressed editor—objected to the script when she was looking it over. I’d like to say that the strip was almost rewritten due to this controversy, but that’s just not the […]

Spokesman on Police Raid: “Oh Man, We Got ALL the Good Stuff”

by -- December 7, 2017

It can be hard to go into work each day knowing that nothing new or interesting is likely to happen. I mean, let’s face it—most jobs are predictable and not exactly exciting. You can practically envision the whole day before it even starts: you’ll see the same coworkers, make the same trite small talk, and […]

Corgi Boss Cast Drama: Trey Taurus Actor to Be Replaced by Dick Sargent

by -- December 5, 2017

So, that’s the end of the first Corgi Boss story arc! Hopefully you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed making it. Actually, I hope you enjoyed it more than that because there were some days that I was like, “Ugh…so tired, but must keep drawing.” That said, it’s a nice feeling to […]

Captivated Nation In Abusive Relationship with News Cycle That Just Won’t End, Damn it.

by -- November 30, 2017

Everyone likes a tidy resolution, don’t they? It keeps a story safe, satisfying, and contained—and thus unlikely to bleed into the real world, overtaking our every idle thought. We don’t have to worry about what happens to a character after we’ve witnessed their long-awaited wedding, their exciting leap into new adventure or, just maybe, their […]

Man Stands Triumphant After Internet Witticism Against Hater Before Returning to Demeaning Real World Job

by -- November 28, 2017

After reading this comic, I think we can all agree that Mary has demonstrated that she has perfected the art of the clapback. I mean she even has her own catchphrase! OK. Maybe not perfected, but somebody somewhere would give her points for her sarcasm even if she didn’t stick the landing of her clapback. […]

Senate to Vote on Bill to Change Holiday Name From Thanksgiving to Thankstaking

by -- November 21, 2017

I hope you all are having an excellent Thanksgiving break. Please remember that Corgi Boss will return on Tuesday November 28!  Just as a heads-up: I’ll probably skip an update around Christmas as well since it’s the holidays. Why not celebrate, right? However, in the comic, they aren’t celebrating, they’re rallying for an offensive against […]

“We’re Getting Into Hygge”: Victims Last Words Before Being Swallowed Alive By His Snuggie

by -- November 16, 2017

I don’t have a much to chat about this update except for a few announcements. First, the coming week is the week of Thanksgiving. There will be a comic update on Tuesday, but on Thursday (Thanksgiving day), there will be no update due to the holiday. I’ll repeat this announcement on Tuesday here and on […]

We Asked So You Didn’t Have To: Interiority, Is It Overrated?

by -- November 14, 2017

It’s pretty rare to see the boss off the clock like this in his fancy apartment in Hobarken. What’s even more rare is to see him filled with self-doubt about what to do next. I mean, as a boss, he usually knows how to boss people around. That’s his bossy role, right? So, it’s nice […]

Breaking: No…Really, Our Headline Generator is Breaking. Please Send Help!

by -- November 9, 2017

So, Sal may have overstepped boundaries a little bit in trying to stop the Herald from making a mistake. However, who doesn’t want to charge into a newspaper and yell “stop the presses”? I know that I do! It’s a mainstay of old timey movies. It’s the idea that editors have to make minute-to-minute decisions […]

Relationship Advice: How to Get From “Will They/Won’t They” to “Why I Oughta” in No Time.

by -- November 7, 2017

Maybe those FBI agents are getting a little too close to the subjects of their surveillance. I doubt that they are there to follow Kiara and Joe’s romance, are they? Whatever the reason, I guess they’re sucked in. If you didn’t know, “shipping” is phenomenon through which (overly?) obsessed consumers of media (tv shows or […]

Daring: 29 More Halloween Costumes that Blur the Line Between Average Trick-or-Treater and Vengeful Serial Killer Rendering Judgements Upon Victims

by -- November 2, 2017

This is the second Halloween themed strip this week. This one features a Halloween party! While the Hobarken Herald’s party cannot possibly compare to Heidi Klum’s annual bash, I think everyone except for Joe had a good time. What are the costumes in the strip? Once again, Kiara is dressed as Storm from the X-men. […]

Spooky: Friends Disappeared from Man’s Life One By One—Kidnapped and Killed or They Just Didn’t Like Him?

by -- October 31, 2017

Happy Halloween everyone! This strip and the next one will be Halloween themed, with characters from the strip wearing costumes. Today’s update features: Kiara is dressed as classic storm (as drawn by Dave Cockrum) from the 70’s What a nerd, right? Mary, always into feminist history is costumed as a suffragette. She wanted to go […]

All Access: Go Behind the Scenes, In Front of the Scenes, and Between the Scenes with Corgi Boss Tell-All

by -- October 26, 2017

I recently was listening to an interview with former intelligence analyst and convicted leaker Chelsea Manning. She recounted during the interview that following her arrest she was placed in a cage guarded by marines in Kuwait. She also had no access to anyone—no lawyers, no friends, nothing. It was quite the harrowing experience. So, considering […]

Everything You Wanted to Know About Good Leadership (But Were Afraid to Ask)

by -- October 24, 2017

Leadership is a difficult task. People like decisive leaders who project confidence. You notice that I didn’t mention that people like leaders who are correct in their decisions. I remember reading some article that said that given the choice between a leader who makes quick and clear decisions that are eventually wrong and one who […]

Study Shows: Saying You Are Fighting ‘The Man’ Much Cooler than Actually Doing It.

by -- October 19, 2017

Stripped of his red clown nose? That’s harsh. If the agency that Spaniel Smellsberg worked for was anything like the jobs I’ve had in the past, the cost of that nose was taken out of his paycheck. I’ve had to buy polo shirts, dress shirts, bowties, t-shirts, and hoodies all with company logos—the cost deducted […]

Market Watch: Hot Anti-Social Advice App is Actually Just a Rock Spray-painted with the Word “No.”

by -- October 17, 2017

Unexpectedly running into people you know when you are out and about is the worst—even if you’re not running into your nemesis as Mary is in this comic. Fortunately, I’ve killed my nemeses and eaten their eyes to steal their power, so I only have to worry about strangers and friends. In Mary’s case, it […]

Candidate’s Whisper Campaign Too Quiet to Hear

by -- October 12, 2017

I think Alma may have missed a few important things from that phone call. Hopefully, nothing bad will happen as a result. I guess we’ll have to just wait and see! This strip got me thinking. As you age, losing one’s hearing is a tricky proposition. I say this, because many don’t seem to have […]

80’s Song Ensures that Building Will be Painted and Ready in No Time

by -- October 10, 2017

I am envisioning this comic strip as an 80’s-movie-style montage. So, it would help if you could imagine this song playing from the moment that the Hawk clicks the shutter release on her camera. While I don’t maintain a lot of precision in terms of time, I wanted to definitely show you that some has […]

Comedy Webcomic Heats Up with Steamy Hookup

by -- October 5, 2017

I showed this strip to my girlfriend while it was in process and she said that she almost didn’t recognize Joe because he looked happy. If you look at that first panel, he really is looking thrilled. He’s so happy that he’d probably be singing this song. It seems as if Joe may have misjudged […]

Jaded Woman Can Totally Believe What Happens Next After Clicking Clickbait Headline

by -- October 3, 2017

One would think that Mary’s enthusiasm would be infectious, but Alma seems immune to the significance of the situation. Maybe this is a product of her charming disposition or, more likely, her age. It seems as if the older we get the more unimpressed we are by life. When you’re younger, everything is new and […]

New Twitter Design Promises More Agita, Still No Ability to Edit

by -- September 28, 2017

Starting this year, it has become apparent that Twitter occupies an odd place in American (and possibly global) culture. We can see why President Dumpster-Fire is concerned about his rep on Twitter. It’s the new radio, it’s the new television, it’s the new fondue. On one hand, Twitter is—as it always has been—the place where […]

Tensions Reach Turning Point Signaling New And Different Tensions to Come

by -- September 26, 2017

This comic might represent a turning point for Joe Flaco if he wasn’t ceaselessly buffeted around by circumstance like a plastic bag on a windy day…so beautiful…I feel like I can’t take it.  Nonetheless, he is still a lot different from the Joe Flaco that everyone met in the first Corgi Boss strip. Here he […]

Webcomic Tries to “Raise Awareness” of Itself

by -- September 21, 2017

Today, let me adopt the tone of a PBS pledge drive. As you may notice from the size of the comic archive here, Corgi Boss is a fairly new webcomic. Updating twice a week since June 6th, we’ve gotten to just over 30 updates on the website! Also, might I add that the comic hasn’t […]

Operator That Is Standing By Really Wishes He Could Sit

by -- September 19, 2017

Although this new guy works for National Insecurity Advisor Trey Taurus, a person some have described as looking “so evil,” you do have to feel bad for him. He doesn’t really have any stake in anything political, but he ends up being the victim of Mary’s shrewd misdirection. I have to imagine that his first […]

Kiss Cam Operator Quietly Obsessing About What Happened to Couple #4867

by -- September 14, 2017

Since I’m the romantic type, there really is nothing more magical than when you feel attracted to someone else and then you see those feelings reciprocated. All that nervousness about being truly alone with egg on your face, rejected, just melts away to be replaced with pure elation. Someone else likes me and I like […]

After Loss, This Small Midwestern Town Came Together to Share HBO Account

by -- September 12, 2017

New character alert! Let’s all give a hearty welcome to National Insecurity Advisor Trey Taurus. It’s good to add another character to the White House’s cast of characters since there have been no other staff members besides the short-lived communications director, Amerigo Smoochie! It’s almost like the place is understaffed and President Dumpster-Fire hasn’t been […]

Key to an Impressive Resumé: Just Staple $20 to the Front

by -- September 7, 2017

Most of the time, I try to resist using typographical errors as reasons to question someone’s credibility. Maybe that’s because I make so many errors myself. (Editor’s Note: No kidding) However, the one shown in this comic is pretty bad. The Hobarken Herald really doesn’t look very trustworthy. The last panel reminds me of an […]

 A Guide: Why Leak, When to Leak, and Where to do it

by -- September 5, 2017

This latest comic is the start of the Corgi Boss’s inaugural storyline, relating to a leaker within President Dumpster-Fire’s administration. For now, I think that I will keep the leaker’s name a secret. Although, I promise that his name will not be as weird as Reality Winner, it will be an odd pun. Stay tuned […]

That Old Question: Is Any Attention Good Attention?

by -- August 31, 2017

Wow. Mary is receiving some harsh commentary on her first blog post. I think many of us can relate to the experience. At first blush, the internet seems like this wonderful place for us to express ourselves, discover friends, and find out definitively “who wore it best.” After you’ve seen “who wore it best” at […]

Community Braces for Incoming Pretentious Movie Recommendations

by -- August 29, 2017

AN: Fangz to Raven for editing this! My girlfriend tells me that this is the most esoteric joke that I’ve done in this comic. Like most criticism she sends my way, I’m trying to take it instead as a compliment. In fact, it’s a challenge to outdo myself for in-jokeness. So, either look forward to—or […]

Career Advisors Advise: It’s Not the Job You Want. It’s the Job That Wants You.

by -- August 24, 2017

I think many of us have been where Joe is. I don’t mean homeless with a beard that is growing wildly out of control against all reason. Instead, I mean desperate for a job and willing to take things that may not be the best opportunity. As the cash runs low or the job applications […]

The Debt System: How to Trade Your Body parts for Cash Now!

by -- August 22, 2017

Here’s some action for you! Pow! Zonk! I love comics that have exciting fight scenes. I had once toyed with the idea of having one of the Hobarken Herald’s employees moonlight as a costumed crimefighter, but given Joe’s performance in this fight… Well, you can see that he does not have much of a future […]

“That’s Why He Did That” Man Exclaims After Reading “Early Life” Section of Wikipedia Article.

by -- August 17, 2017

So begins what I’d like to refer to as the “Secret Origins of Joe Flaco.” Were Corgi Boss a superhero comic, the contents of this strip would be the first act of an entire film. The plot would follow how young Flaco became a reporter for the Hobarken Herald. You could go see it in […]

This Fall: New Comedy Series Asks “Who Wasn’t On First?”

by -- August 15, 2017

  Joe’s parking garage troubles continue. He seems to be going through a version of this Abbot and Costello classic routine. Just wait until he discovers he lost his parking garage ticket. Regarding the comedy routine though, I’ve got to admit that I have a particular fondness for it. I even remember enjoying another version […]

Notes from Corgi Boss CEO Keynote: Exciting New Plans to Be Excited About

by -- August 10, 2017

It’s a common trope that all sorts of deeds that need to be done on the down low happen in a mostly empty parking garage. One wonders that if this is the go-to place there must be some cross-traffic problems that happen, right? Can’t they have an OpenTable-like app or something? Format Announcement! I also […]

Death to Smoochie 2: The Meteoric Rise and Fall of Smoochie

by -- August 8, 2017

The webcomic for today was originally going to be something else, but when the recent news with Scaramucci broke, I felt I had to respond to it. I was seeing a disgustingly awful amount of sanctimony being sprinkled around Twitter, and people were indignant to the notion that a 52-year-old man blowing his life up […]

Executive Subcommittee Resigns in Resignation

by -- August 3, 2017

Since kindergarten, we have always lived under this illusion that we can rule by consensus. There, overbearing teachers, who wouldn’t let me just build the Lincoln Log fort that I wanted to make, encouraged me to ask other children what kind of fort they wanted, so they could compromise my grand design. I mean, like […]

Surprising Maverick Does the Unexpected Unexpectedly Confounding Expectations

by -- August 1, 2017

This comic comes the week after McCain’s dramatic 1 a.m. nay vote in the Senate, killing the latest iteration of Obamacare repeal. Perhaps more importantly, like the hoary-haired Senator from Arizona, we see the boss vetoing the idea of having a fence around the Hobarken Herald’s parking lot. This all reminds me how they used […]

How to Put Some Philosophical Practices into Your Real Life

by -- July 27, 2017

Mary helped the robber get away? Wha? I guess this strip illustrates the difference between theory and practice. When you read philosophy, you learn how the world works. You gain a greater sense of reality by losing touch with reality. Part of this is seeing everything around you as part of large social structures. Another […]

Robber’s Victim Allegedly Refutes Narrative of Crime Pulling “Victim Card”

by -- July 25, 2017

My mama always used to tell me, life is like a dark and creepy alley—you never know what you’re going to get. That should have been the iconic line from Forest Gump because, really, you can be pretty sure you’re going to get chocolate in a box of chocolates. Dark alleys, it’s less clear as […]

Exclusive: Behind the Scenes Footage Reveals Tensions in the Creation of Corgi Boss

by -- July 20, 2017

If you didn’t get that strip, it’s a joke about dog years versus human years. When you read a dog joke in this comic, these are most likely the result of my girlfriend’s influence. She is the uncredited hero of making this comic. She’s the one that I bounce ideas off each week. Me: “How […]

Microaggression is a Superpower: How to Lose Friends and Influence People.

by -- July 18, 2017

Microaggression! With all the attention that’s been given to gaslighting lately, it might be time to turn attention back to its close cousin, microaggression. That’s what we’re seeing from the woman in this comic here. Although, the two actions have a lot of the same characteristics. They’re like muffins and cupcakes, if those cupcakes make […]

Longtime Feuds Extend Longer than Most Marriages.

by -- July 13, 2017

Everyone loves a good feud, from the Hatfields and the McCoys to Jay-Z and Nas to the President and everyone else. It’s even the premise behind Ryan Murphy’s TV series Feud, which is an anthology series examining a different feud each season. Last season was Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Who knew that being pissed […]

Doubt Raised About Accuracy in Controversial Tryst Rumors

by -- July 11, 2017

Alma’s biographical note about our former first lady is less than flattering. As usual, we (Editor’s note: who is we? -CB)  at Corgi Boss try to eschew controversy and seriously doubt that the nickname Eleanor Everywhere (citation needed -CB) came from being in Alma’s bed. And frankly, Eleanor Roosevelt was a woman of many talents, […]

Copyeditor Is Last Survivor of Brutal Killer—Old Age

by -- July 6, 2017

My girlfriend claims that it looks like Alma may be hitting on Joe in the final panel. While this is not my authorial intention, I won’t deny the possibility, which got me thinking. In horror movies, when all the protagonist’s friends are dying one by one, coitus can become a priority. And as every plastic […]

The Corgi Boss Guide to Public Speaking

by -- July 4, 2017

This comic marks the boss’s third appearance since the very first strip! You’d think he would have appeared more in the previous eight, but heavy weighs the crown. He’s been in editorial meetings up to this point. However, here he is, giving an important speech. Public Speaking As acts go, it’s an odd social activity […]

WITNESS WATCHES TRAIN CRASH, DOING NOTHING

by -- June 29, 2017

I’ve never purposefully sabotaged anyone like Mary does in this webcomic, but I have often fantasized about doing it. I really love clever con artist movies like The Spanish Prisoner Matchstick Men, or Nine Queens. As a result, I dream of playing someone down the wrong path and watching them slowly realize they are fucked. […]

#FakeNews Reporter Gets a Real Ass Chewing By His Editor

by -- June 27, 2017

Fake It Until You Make It. They always tell you to “fake it until you make it”, but is that actually good advice? Maybe in some fields with little or no value other than entertaining social degenerates, like webcomics, but what about other areas? Oh, not sure how to do CPR? Well, fake it until […]

It Happened To Me: I Read Corgi Boss And May Have Laughed A Mild Awkward Chuckle

by -- June 22, 2017

If you have not heard of XOJANE, feel free to educate yourself with this romantic gem, this gross one, this odd one, or this parody. Is a seedy confession or a peculiar perspective enough to make an article? I, the man who has neither anything interesting to confess nor an odd perspective, think not! These […]

Why this Latest Corgi Boss is a Game Changer and You Should Tell Everyone You Know to Read It.

by -- June 19, 2017

As a member of an elite cadre of webcomic artists, I can tell you that my point of view on the world is something that you should value. In fact, it may change your perspective or even your life for the better. At least that’s what I’d be telling you if I was writing my […]

Reporter Forgets All Witty Quips At Presser

by -- June 18, 2017

Joe should actually be happy he didn’t get to ask a question. Press conferences can be very high pressure environments as we well know from this gif. On the one hand they are informative and on the other they are theater. This is a reporter’s opportunity to stand up to allegedly corrupt politicians and be seen. […]

“HUMOR” WEBCOMIC “CORGI BOSS” ISSUES DISCLAIMER

by -- June 13, 2017

Obviously, any resemblance between President Dumpster Fire and any person living or dead inside is purely coincidental. We just need to get that out there. It has been disclaimed, and with the royal we to make it sound official. Also, sometimes fire just burns like that naturally—sideways across the top of a dumpster. The flames […]

Writer Claims “Unethical Professional Distance”

by -- June 8, 2017

Mary Shapiro is just a little bit frightening, but I can relate. Sometimes in my offline life, in which I read depressing fiction, I find that I’ve cultivated a little too much professional distance from the material. When reading Hamlet, the death of Hamlet’s entire family tends to be abstract to me! When I stop to […]

Corgi Boss the Webcomic: This is Launch Day

by -- June 6, 2017

Welcome all to the Corgi Boss launch day. If you are reading this (and I’m sure there are not many of you), then you are what I’d like to call an “early-adopter.” It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a webcomic lacking an archive should be in want of an audience. That means that with only […]