New character alert! Let’s all give a hearty welcome to National
Insecurity Advisor Trey Taurus. It’s good to add another character to
the White House’s cast of characters since there have been no other
staff members besides the short-lived communications director, Amerigo Smoochie!
It’s almost like the place is understaffed and President Dumpster-Fire
hasn’t been filling the vacant positions! My girlfriend thinks that this
new character looks distinctively evil. However, as this comic shows,
he is outmatched in the arena of malevolence by the President himself.
The loss of the HBO Go Password might actually constitute cruel and
unusual punishment. Sure, sure. Boiling oil and bamboo shoots are
clearly torture, but as Billy Eichner has made clear,
we are living in the golden age of television. To miss out? The worst.
Every age has its own horror. For the French Republicans, it was the
guillotine. FOMO, or fear of missing out, is ours. I wonder if someone
might actually prefer to be peed on to losing their access to the latest
episode of Thrones. Heck, maybe some people would enjoy that while watching Game of Thrones (Editor’s Note: Don’t kink shame). New type of viewing party?
Speaking of big TV series, I recently had a short-term subscription to Showtime for David Lynch’s unfortunate Twin Peaks: The Return.
That also was its own form of torture. Unlike the original series, it
wasn’t particularly amusing. I mean imagine paying extra for just one
channel to see a prestigious tv show that positioned itself as the end
of prestige television. Yech.
That’s all today. See you all Thursday!
Trivia: President Dumpster-Fire wasn’t always in politics. He actually started out as a TV star. His biggest role was in Netflix’s Fireplace for Your Home.